Did I forget to mention that the ENTIRE time we were having that crazy conversation about the fabric, the man was talking to us about his opinion on getting engaged?
man: so what are you buying for?
clare: it's for our engagement party. two long tables etc etc
man (whispers to Zac in front of me): don't do it! you're crazy!
zac: uh, (politely laughs) haha, yeah mate. Women...
man: no seriously, you'll get married and it won't be what you think and you'll end up in Graylands.*
clare and zac: *------*??!? huh?
man (whispering to Zac): get out while you still can!
zac: uh.... -------*?!
man: so I do it for you 599. 40m. a whole bolt.
So the next day I went back, to buy something I didn't think I could afford the previous day.
man: you were in here yesterday?
clare: yes, the tablecloth
man: yes, you're getting married aren't you?
clare: yes, still getting married *polite smile*
man (leans over and whispers): don't do it! Get out while you still can!
clare: uh, do you have any grey or yellow gingham?
man (across the store): AUNTY!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY GINGHAM OVER THERE WITH THE LOW QUALITY COTTON!?
man (whispers): seriously, don't get married you'll end up in Graylands for 3 months. I did!
clare: really!! what happened?
man: so I was engaged to this girl and we don't sleep together before the wedding.
clare: know the feeling
man (leans in over the counter): so I get married, I take her to bed and...
(leans in closer, whispers) she's a lady-boy!
man: yeah, so I went crazy, I spent 3 months in Graylands!
man's brother (chirps up from a computer behind the counter): yeah, I blew $50,000 on that wedding and it didn't even last the night! 3 months in Graylands!
*for all of our interstate readers, Graylands is a hospital for people who are mentally unwell.